I was thinking about some things today. One of the biggest things I was thinkin' about was why do I try and live life to find love? It almost bugs me really. Sometimes there are times where I am so tired of life because I don't have that girl to come home to. To cuddle with. To kiss. Or even just to talk to. And because of that fact I really get down on life. But that isn't what life is all about. There are so many other experiences in life to live but just finding a girl to love means so much to me. And that makes me a little mad at myself. Can anyone possibly tell me why I feel that way? Why do I get so down on life if I don't have that girl to love? What sucks the most is sometimes that ruins some of the things that happen in my life. I think you know who I am talkin' about. Yes you.
I see your posts, I know what is going on in your life. I can tell things are rough in your life. And I hope you know that I am always here to talk. I wish you would talk to me but I understand things are really rough right now. I just wanna make you happy. Make you happy with ways done by me. I want to treat you the way you should be treated. But I just can't. I have to sit back and wait. And that's okay. I just wish sometimes. I just wish sometimes you would come to me so I can help ya out. But I understand things are rough. Hope you get through it and hope your ready for your party. I am gonna try to make it unforgettable for you.
Is it bad to take life one day at a time? Some people might say, no, but sometimes it just doesn't seem right to live that way. Sometimes I feel like people should enjoy life so much that it doesn't seem like day by day but perhaps just one looooong day. Crazy? Yeah hahaha maybe.
Today a good good friend of mine wrote a note on the f'book today about finding out who you truly are. The person you should be. The person you wanna be. A person not affected by other's actions. But rather a person who does what he or she wants because she is free to do so. (Now granted he starts getting into materialism and the government) but I was happy to read that. Because I am kind of in that same spot. I am still trying to figure out who I am. But sometimes I feel like I have to do things so I can please other people. Is that right? Is it bad that I wanna text this girl but don't because I want to give her space and hope that maybe she would text me? I feel like if I texted her I would scare her away because of what I said (because I have done so once...) but what do I do? I feel so shitty just sitting back. I don't wanna sit back. I wanna be there for you. For people. Because thats who I AM.
Is there a hot blonde out there that is a queen in the streets and a freak in the sheets? A girl who loves to have fun and loves me for who I am? A girl that wants to be with me and will show her emotions? Well after this blog.....not anywhere near here no... Is there a girl that can give me that look that just makes me almost light headed? A girl that will be spontaneous and live every experience she can? I can only get on my knees and pray.
Well Lupe said it the best....The show goes on
Bittercold Showdown XI - Thursday - Detroit - So pumped...
Lupe - The Show Goes On
Find me. Come to me. Help me. Please exist.
jay one three