Bentley

Hello Friends...

Well I guess it has been sometime since I have written anything...
Well I was outside for my traditional Sunday evening smoke. And I just thought about somethings that maybe I will write about.

Went home this weekend. Man that was relaxing. Just staying home. Hanging out with Mom and Dad. Watching TV. Putting new skins on my skates! Excellent! I just always am surprised at how great my parents are. So kind. So genuine. So relaxing to be around. Not worrying about what I am going to do. Just staying home and relaxing. Not having to worry about calling anyone. Just enjoy the company of my parents. Definitely what I needed. I also went and hung out with a good good friend of mine that I used to work with. She is so much fun to hang out with. She is funny, bubbly, and always a great person to chat with. She has a few dogs who are all characters and also alot of fun to hang out with. She unfortunately just broke up with her boyfriend so she was a little down in the dumps but hopefully I was able to cheer her up and make her smile.

I was thinkin' about things on the drive home as well. I kind of think that I am oblivious to life. I just don't think I get it. I thought I understood it. But sometimes I still feel low and almost anxious. Almost scared that some people really don't care for who I am. I am afraid that people think I am too loud and obnoxious to be around. Is that true? It might be. I might show too much emotion. I might say too much. I might talk too much. I hate feeling that I am doing something wrong. Or I am the kind of person that people really don't like being around. But I always thought that I was suppose to worry about myself and myself only but doesn't that make me selfish? I always thought I should be whoever I was hanging with wants me to be. I try to be kind and sincere to women. I try and relate and chat with guys. But why do I still feel like I am just not getting it? Maybe after hitting a low of lows, I think I got such a swing of reality that now I view life differently. Do I piss everyone off? hahaha I think I do.

My Montre shades got here tonight! I was really really excited to get those and rock them out! AMall also put in another 5 dollar gift certificate so I think its the Valo4Life dvd next! Hahahaha!

Still need a date to my brother's wedding. Hopefully I can find a great girl.. We will see what tomorrow brings!

Night guys
Jay13

ps. Hey Elena, if you still read my blog (which I kinda doubt you do...) but if you do, go onto YouTube and look up the song "Youtopia" by Armin Van Buuren. Recognize the voice?...

Youtopia - Armin Van Buuren