Thursday, December 23, 2010

Blast from the past (v.2)

Hello friends....

I guess I am gonna start my story this way. I forgot to bring my 2nd bottle of anti deps home and unfortunately I am not sure whether or not I have enough to last me the entire break so I have to work with what I have and have been taking just a pill (100 mg.) when I'm suppose to be taking 150 mg. Lately my mood swings have been getting worse lately because I haven't been taking my perscribed doses. So tonight I was just in my basement. Hanging out. I started to have an anxiety attack. I couldn't focus and I was panicking. It was really hard. Well I texted the Dreamgirl to see if I could get some help. Welp. She went out. Which doesn't help me at all. She wasn't helping me. Wasn't responding. Just telling me. I don't have to panic. For some reason I told her that I couldn't do it anymore. And all she said was she doesn't know what to say. To me that feels like she isn't going to fight to keep me. So what do I do? Well that wasn't helping. So I texted another girl to try and get some help. Well she was helping me a little bit but she was in bed so in the long run she just wasn't much help.

So I texted one of my buddies and he was with some friends at the Irish Democrat just hanging out with some people. So I went over there to just get my mind off of things.

While I was there I saw a guy that I literally have known all my life. This guy was one of my best friends growing up. But he was a cool kid. He left to be part of the cool clique. Well anyways I saw him tonight and him and I started talking. He has been dating a girl that I have known since high school for about 5 and a half years. Both of them are going to Mt. Mercy. They have a house together. But this guy loves to drink, party, smoke, all that sorts of shit. He goes out. She doesn't. But no matter what he does or where he goes, she is always there when he gets home. It's incredible. This girl puts up with alot of shit and sticks with him no matter what. Thats what I want. A girl that will be there when I get home. A girl that wants to come out with me and go home with me. It really was surprising. This party guy has a pretty, kind, woman to go home to every night. He is a VERY VERY lucky man. It was good seeing him again. He was a great friend of mine when I was a kid.

Am I going to wake up alone tomorrow? Is she done with me? I guess who knows. I'm sure I'll be the one to text her tomorrow. (That's been the pattern)

Well bout time to pop a sleeping pill and pass out.

Ladies, be good to your boys. Boys, be good to your girls.

Night everybody.


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