Hello Friends...
Before you read this post, I really want you to do something. Either pull up YouTube or iTunes and listen to the song Never Let Me Down by Kanye West. Please do it. I want you to listen to that song while you read this. The last rap on that song is the best rap I have ever heard and will be till the day I die. His voice. His words. His expressions. I believe are so strong that it really should touch you. And if it doesn't, listen to it again. Trust me...It will.... The rap starts around 2:48 in the song. Just listen to it. Please.
Am I one? I might be. I fall quickly. I fall for people very quickly. And when I fall, I fall quickly. I can't explain it. I believe that I am suppose to be with someone. And I believe that there is someone out there for me. One who fits me. Who fits my personality. My sense of humor. My outgoingness. She is friendly. Kind. Beautiful. Willing. Spontaneous. Open. She is perfect. And if and when I meet her, I am going to fall so hard, so fast. I can only hope that that happens very very soon. Maybe it's already happened? Maybe.
I have a few dreams. A dream of a girl treating me like a king. Me coming home and there she is waiting for me. Lingerie. Naked. Fully clothed. Doesn't matter. I have a preference. But it doesn't matter. Because I know that she will be there waiting for me. She is waiting. Excited to see me. So excited to see me walk in that door that she drops everything to spend time with me. I want her to do things for me. Meaningful things. Things that mean so much to me. Without me even asking. I am such an emotional person. And one thing I would love the most is to share my emotions with. I want to things for her that just make her fall. Make her weak. Make her want me even more. I want to do that for her. Smell good. Look good. Do things for her. Can I do that? I personally think, no I can't. I am not the most attractive guy in the world. But I sure as hell try. And I can only hope she feels and knows that I have tried everything I can for her.
A few posts ago, I was talking about seeing the Dreamgirl dance to the song The Wind by Cat Stevens. I want a girl who can do that. Who is willing to do that. Because it means something to me. It would mean alot to me.
Someone has told me that I need to live in reality. But why? Why can't I live in fantasy? The fantasies, dreams, thoughts, and hopes make me so happy. I don't wanna live in reality. I can't handle reality. I am not strong enough.
Do I need to get out of fantasy and live in reality? Is it reality that someone for me doesn't exist? Is it reality that I can't have Dreamgirl dance for me and me only? Maybe. Probably. Well then I'm going back to fantasy.
"If I'm on the highest cliff of the highest riff and you slipped of the side and clinched on to your life into my grip. I would never. Ever. Let you down."
Hope I touched you.
?!E
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Power of Music
Andrew WK - Party Hard
Chick singer from Skillet
B.o.B.
Wow....
Marshall Law, Hworang
Enough
J?1?3?
P.S. Thanks Creampuff!!!!
Chick singer from Skillet
B.o.B.
Wow....
Marshall Law, Hworang
Enough
J?1?3?
P.S. Thanks Creampuff!!!!
Riddler
Hello friends...
I have concluded something. I really am not a good person. I am just not. It's ok though. Really. I can accept it. How you ask? Well I really don't know. But I can. I think terrible things. I have done terrible things. I have had terrible things done upon me.
Wait. I have Creampuff to talk to.
Nvm...
Marshall Law and Mike Portnoy....AWESOME!!!
J?1?3?
I have concluded something. I really am not a good person. I am just not. It's ok though. Really. I can accept it. How you ask? Well I really don't know. But I can. I think terrible things. I have done terrible things. I have had terrible things done upon me.
Wait. I have Creampuff to talk to.
Nvm...
Marshall Law and Mike Portnoy....AWESOME!!!
J?1?3?
New Years Resolution Revolution!
Hello Friends....
I am going to make this short and sweet...
What do you think I should do for a New Years Resolution? Please. I have 5 followers. I expect atleast 5 comments telling me what you think I should do for a resolution. I also know that other people who aren't "following" my blog read this so please, get some sort of account and please leave a comment. PLEASE! Dreamgirl? Please!? DO IT!!!
Creampuff?
McFall?
Ripperger?
Jenn?
Dreamgirl?
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?
Cheers
J13
I am going to make this short and sweet...
What do you think I should do for a New Years Resolution? Please. I have 5 followers. I expect atleast 5 comments telling me what you think I should do for a resolution. I also know that other people who aren't "following" my blog read this so please, get some sort of account and please leave a comment. PLEASE! Dreamgirl? Please!? DO IT!!!
Creampuff?
McFall?
Ripperger?
Jenn?
Dreamgirl?
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?
Cheers
J13
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Blast from the past (v.2)
Hello friends....
I guess I am gonna start my story this way. I forgot to bring my 2nd bottle of anti deps home and unfortunately I am not sure whether or not I have enough to last me the entire break so I have to work with what I have and have been taking just a pill (100 mg.) when I'm suppose to be taking 150 mg. Lately my mood swings have been getting worse lately because I haven't been taking my perscribed doses. So tonight I was just in my basement. Hanging out. I started to have an anxiety attack. I couldn't focus and I was panicking. It was really hard. Well I texted the Dreamgirl to see if I could get some help. Welp. She went out. Which doesn't help me at all. She wasn't helping me. Wasn't responding. Just telling me. I don't have to panic. For some reason I told her that I couldn't do it anymore. And all she said was she doesn't know what to say. To me that feels like she isn't going to fight to keep me. So what do I do? Well that wasn't helping. So I texted another girl to try and get some help. Well she was helping me a little bit but she was in bed so in the long run she just wasn't much help.
So I texted one of my buddies and he was with some friends at the Irish Democrat just hanging out with some people. So I went over there to just get my mind off of things.
While I was there I saw a guy that I literally have known all my life. This guy was one of my best friends growing up. But he was a cool kid. He left to be part of the cool clique. Well anyways I saw him tonight and him and I started talking. He has been dating a girl that I have known since high school for about 5 and a half years. Both of them are going to Mt. Mercy. They have a house together. But this guy loves to drink, party, smoke, all that sorts of shit. He goes out. She doesn't. But no matter what he does or where he goes, she is always there when he gets home. It's incredible. This girl puts up with alot of shit and sticks with him no matter what. Thats what I want. A girl that will be there when I get home. A girl that wants to come out with me and go home with me. It really was surprising. This party guy has a pretty, kind, woman to go home to every night. He is a VERY VERY lucky man. It was good seeing him again. He was a great friend of mine when I was a kid.
Am I going to wake up alone tomorrow? Is she done with me? I guess who knows. I'm sure I'll be the one to text her tomorrow. (That's been the pattern)
Well bout time to pop a sleeping pill and pass out.
Ladies, be good to your boys. Boys, be good to your girls.
Night everybody.
J!3
I guess I am gonna start my story this way. I forgot to bring my 2nd bottle of anti deps home and unfortunately I am not sure whether or not I have enough to last me the entire break so I have to work with what I have and have been taking just a pill (100 mg.) when I'm suppose to be taking 150 mg. Lately my mood swings have been getting worse lately because I haven't been taking my perscribed doses. So tonight I was just in my basement. Hanging out. I started to have an anxiety attack. I couldn't focus and I was panicking. It was really hard. Well I texted the Dreamgirl to see if I could get some help. Welp. She went out. Which doesn't help me at all. She wasn't helping me. Wasn't responding. Just telling me. I don't have to panic. For some reason I told her that I couldn't do it anymore. And all she said was she doesn't know what to say. To me that feels like she isn't going to fight to keep me. So what do I do? Well that wasn't helping. So I texted another girl to try and get some help. Well she was helping me a little bit but she was in bed so in the long run she just wasn't much help.
So I texted one of my buddies and he was with some friends at the Irish Democrat just hanging out with some people. So I went over there to just get my mind off of things.
While I was there I saw a guy that I literally have known all my life. This guy was one of my best friends growing up. But he was a cool kid. He left to be part of the cool clique. Well anyways I saw him tonight and him and I started talking. He has been dating a girl that I have known since high school for about 5 and a half years. Both of them are going to Mt. Mercy. They have a house together. But this guy loves to drink, party, smoke, all that sorts of shit. He goes out. She doesn't. But no matter what he does or where he goes, she is always there when he gets home. It's incredible. This girl puts up with alot of shit and sticks with him no matter what. Thats what I want. A girl that will be there when I get home. A girl that wants to come out with me and go home with me. It really was surprising. This party guy has a pretty, kind, woman to go home to every night. He is a VERY VERY lucky man. It was good seeing him again. He was a great friend of mine when I was a kid.
Am I going to wake up alone tomorrow? Is she done with me? I guess who knows. I'm sure I'll be the one to text her tomorrow. (That's been the pattern)
Well bout time to pop a sleeping pill and pass out.
Ladies, be good to your boys. Boys, be good to your girls.
Night everybody.
J!3
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
why me?
hello friends...
i have one question to ask....why me?
why everytime i go out everyone is like ok have fun but when the dreamgirl goes out i have panic attacks. why do i need to pop nyquil and a sleeping pill. why. am i not attrative. what is it. why must i be the one that suffers. why can the girl that i truely love be fine when i go out but when she goes out i freak out.
ok fine. i get it. im fat. unattractive. fine i get. ok
peace
jthirteen
i have one question to ask....why me?
why everytime i go out everyone is like ok have fun but when the dreamgirl goes out i have panic attacks. why do i need to pop nyquil and a sleeping pill. why. am i not attrative. what is it. why must i be the one that suffers. why can the girl that i truely love be fine when i go out but when she goes out i freak out.
ok fine. i get it. im fat. unattractive. fine i get. ok
peace
jthirteen
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Our Truth pt. 2
Hello Friends....
Well I just got done with a cig and I have "some thoughts"
1. All you girls who are BEAUTIFUL that have a personality of a FUCKING NAIL IN A BOARD I only have one thing to say.......FUCK YOU!!!!
2. I have THE BEST FRIENDS ever. I was looking at old pics of mine that just make me miss EVERYTHING about my past. A girl who truly loved me (before she cheated) and the best get togethers EVER! I will debate ANYONE! BRING IT!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
NIGHT FUCKERS!
j13
Well I just got done with a cig and I have "some thoughts"
1. All you girls who are BEAUTIFUL that have a personality of a FUCKING NAIL IN A BOARD I only have one thing to say.......FUCK YOU!!!!
2. I have THE BEST FRIENDS ever. I was looking at old pics of mine that just make me miss EVERYTHING about my past. A girl who truly loved me (before she cheated) and the best get togethers EVER! I will debate ANYONE! BRING IT!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
NIGHT FUCKERS!
j13
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